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Hysterical Recreation

Performed by: Kathy Fey/Sir Mahkta McKrye, KoEF/KoR
Place/Gathering : Anywhere you ask her to.
Date: Unknown
Original by/Sung to: Kathy Horn(Fey)
Of brave knights and damsels you've read every book
On wizards and dragons you're totally hooked
You decide to give reenactment a look
To relive those old glories yourself

If medieval fantasy is what you seek
Get your character ready by the end of the week
Though our middle ages are rather unique
The Realms welcomes you

Death not withstanding you'll never be bored
Learning new spells from a self-proclaimed lord
Sticking duct tape to the blade of your sword
It's hysterical recreation

Our social hierarchy is sealed and decreed
By whoever can threaten to make their foes bleed
Our noteworthy titles prolific indeed
We have denizens of every kind

Of full human parentage few of us boast
Of gentry and hybrids we have the most
With new countries popping up from coast to coast
And in your backyard

Chorus

So season to season you've tried more or less
To emulate codes of appropriate dress
You've taken your watch off but still you're a mess
Of rayon and lycra and tape

And your tunic and spandex are worn as can be
You lace your suede moccasins up to your knee
And join in the fantasy fashion frenzy
You'll fit right in

Chorus

The foul monster army is crossing the field
You're standing your ground because heroes don't yield
You're armed to the hilt with a round plastic shield
And a blade as sharp as foam

You slay a gruff goblin with a green toothy face
You're slain by a bunny in leather and lace
They drag your dead body all over the place
As you start to rot

Chorus

So now you'll try magic, learn a spell or two
Your books, rope and trinkets hang all over you
You want to try out every trick you can do
To show off your components and skill

So you find a poor armless guy wandering around
Your rush up and pick up some dirt off the ground
Then sputter out syllables at the speed of sound
And it works somehow

Chorus

It's tournament day in the grey northern sleet
In raging fierce battles great warriors meet
They fire their bows using just teeth and feet
And wield fierce dinky weapons of doom

For this is the place you can test every skill
Where rope, foam and index cards muster a thrill
Where a small yellow duck is a reason to kill
So watch that flank

Chorus

So lace up your sneaker or lace up your boot
Come dwell where duct tape can solve a dispute
Where blue swords and roofing tins constitute loot
Where a peasant can joke with a queen

The Realms is waiting for you to explore
With dungeons and dragons and fairies and more
Our not so dark ages are yours to adore
So jump right in

Chorus x 2
Created by Janna Oakfellow-Pushee at 10-23-08 04:07 AM
Last Modified by Janna Oakfellow-Pushee at 10-23-08 04:07 AM