Da'oud & (in) Food
Written by: Iawen Penn
My father Nero told me this story as he heard it told to him by those actually there... that there were two priestesses: one a sexy blonde and one a bendable raven-haired beauty, who had a very docile red-head linked arm and arm in them up in Folkestone somewhere. It was June of 1002 by a Mortal's Reckoning (M.R.), so almost ten years ago at this point. Anyway, the story goes that they were calling this girl 'Pumpkin' and were bringing her to a very nice place to lay down and relax. Turns out they had been attempting to use the girl to place the spirit of a being called Tabitha within, but their original ritual had (purely by accident) been disturbed by the adventurers that day. Thus, they attempted to drag Pumpkin to a secondary location. Pumpkin, however, was definitely not in the best straights for traveling and some trigger words would set her off into a frothing, angry, venomous female who laid hands on people to choke them to death.
Date: February 7th, 1012 M.R. One of those trigger words was an adventurer's name: Da'oud. (dow-ood like 'food'). Boy, did Tabitha Not Like Da'oud. Eventually, some adventurers wised up to what the two priestesses were doing and killed and scalped them, but hadn't a clue what was up with Pumpkin. They dragged her throughout the rest of the quest (whatever it was) and met up with the larger group of adventurers. Repeatedly, people made the mistake of calling for Da'oud which would have Pumpkin throttling the nearest person, spitting curses on Da'oud's name and threatening to grind his bones into... usually someone would flat or kill Pumpkin at this point (and raise her immediately). She would then be her spacey, 'what's going on self'. When the whole story tumbled out, there was a split on what to do with the peasant girl, as no one knew a Seer at the time who could ask how to fix it. To grant the girl peace, they killed and scalped her, too, but sent her spirit on to 'a good goddess'. After the quest was over, someone made a comment about how many different things Da'oud could possibly be cooked or made into. And then, oddly, a list was found on the actual quest as well. Seemed Pumpkin had already planned for such things... 1. Da'oud Wellington 2. French Fried Da'oud 3. Da'oud Kabobs 4. Da'oud Stroganoff 5. Da'oud Shanks 6. Da'oud-loaf 7. Chili con Da'oud 8. Deep Fried Da'oud 9. Da'oud Curry 10. Da'oud Under Glass 11. Da'oud Rump Roast 12. Da'oud Forrester 13. Da'oud Heart Stew 14. Da'oud A La King 15. Da'oud Cacciatore 16. Da'oud Lo Mein 17. Da'oud Fricassee 18. Da'oud Kiev 19. Moo Goo Gai Da'oud 20. Da'oud Pot Pie 21. Da'oud A La Orange 22. Da'oud Croquettes 23. Da'oud Tetrazzini 24. Da'oud Beer-Basted BBQ Ribs 25. Da'oud Vinaigrette 26. Maple Syrup Battered Da'oud 27. Da'oud Raviolis 28. Da'oud Pilaf 29. Da'oud Rice Pudding 30. Da'oud Rinds 31. Da'oud Meringue Pie 32. Da'oud Souffle 33. D'Mousse (Mousse of Da'oud) 34. Da'oud Strudel 35. Soft-boiled Da'oud 36. Da'oud Fondue! 37. Da'oud on a Half Shell 38. Da'oud Omelet (with Cheese) 39. Cyalume-Water-Boiled Da'oud 40. Da'oud Cocktail (make sure it is pink) 41. Da'oud Thermador 42. Filet of Da'oud 43. McMuffin Da'oud 44. Da'oud Cheesecake 45. New Montaglion Da'oud Chowder 46. Da'oud in a Can 47. Da'oud Spicy Poppers 50. Da'oud Alfredo 51. Da'oud Bisque 52. Da'oud Gibblets n' Gravy 53. Da'oud Teriyaki on a Stick (Five Foot Preferred) 54. Da'oud Flambe' 55. Da'oudtain Dew 56. Moo Shu Da'oud 57. Da'oud Tartars 58. Da'oud done al dente with shrimp 59. Upside-Down Da'oud Cake 60. Da'oud Burritos with Rice & Beans 61. Da'oud with a nice Chianti and Fava Beans (candlelight required) 62. Da'ouds in a Blanket 63. Hickory Smoked Da'oud 64. Tollhouse Da'oud (for the kiddies) 65. Da'oud Cordon Bleu 66. Da'oud Rangoon 67. Shake & Bake Da'oud (he might like this, be careful) 68. Pickled Da'oud 69. Da'oud Sunny Side Up 70. Da'oud Pate 71. Salisbury Da'oud 72. Da'oud Over Easy 73. General Da'oud Chicken 74. Da'oud Gumbo 75. Da'oud Suey 76. Sauerda'oud 77. Philly Cheese Da'oud 78. Devil's Da'oud (Cake) 79. Da'oud Noodle Casserole (take out the cigarettes first) 80. Chilled Da'oud Brains 81. Rocky Mountain Da'oud with Ridges 82. Shredded Da'oud on a Hard Roll 83. Da'oud 'Surprise' 84. Spam, Eggs, Bacon & Da'oud This list ended there with a pencil mark that seems dragged across the page, as if interrupted, or so the story went. ...I'm sort of curious if she ever made it to one hundred and one ways. - Iawen Penn |
Created by Janna Oakfellow-Pushee at 02-07-12 08:18 PM
Last Modified by Janna Oakfellow-Pushee at 02-07-12 08:18 PM